Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott

I picked up this book because I was looking for a formula of sentences that would make an upcoming difficult conversation go my way, the “Easy Button” for what would be a tough talk. Yes, Scott does provide a structure for opening such a dialog, but what I find most compelling about this book is the case it makes for engaging in fierce conversations on a continual basis, at work and at home.

According to Scott, much of what is broken in our companies, communities and personal relationships is the lack of willingness to talk about the real issues on our minds. And we’ve all gotten so good at it, that we actually think we are talking about what matters. Some questions Scott raises that get at how much fiercer our conversations could be:

• What is the most important thing to discuss right now?
• What topic do you hope will not be brought up?
• What are you pretending not to know?
• What topics are understood to be off the table but should not be?
• What are you tolerating?
• What are you thinking but unwilling to say?

Challenging stuff, these fierce conversations. But worth the risk, I’d say. This is a book to keep on the shelf and review every few months for a fierce reality check.